Military Life

Over the past few days I have been helping our good friends Andrew and Lauren get ready to move back to the States from Okinawa. The military has a pretty extensive check out process before a move, and one of the first steps along the way is de-registering your car. Of course, with typical military planning, all subsequent steps require car transportation between remote offices. This meant I was a taxi all week. During the car rides they asked some good questions that I've been thinking about all week.


The first question was "Did you know what you were getting into when you married the military?" The answer is both yes and no. My military stereotype involved lots of moving and a frequently absent husband. Did I expect Peter to get deployed? Yes. Did I expect him to be gone for over a year, while I was left alone in a foreign country? No. Did I know I would have to move a lot? Yes. Did I know I'd have to give up my job when I moved, and that it would be hard to find a new job? No. Did I know I'd have to make new friends roughly every six months because everyone else in the military moves frequently too? No. In my mind, everyone else was going to stay the same while we moved around.

The frequent farewells are one of the hardest things for me to deal with in the military. I've only been doing this for two years, and I already feel like I spend a significant portion of my time managing my e-social life with all my absent friends. The rest of my social energy is spent making new friends. I have very few good friendships where I'm currently living. As soon as they reach "good friend" status they move.

Another thing that I didn't realize about being a military wife was that in addition to having to sacrifice my home and my job and my friends, I would also have to sacrifice my identity. In all things military, I am a "dependent." At the doctor's office, I am identified by my husband's social security number, not my own. His rank determines what clubs I can enter and what friends I can have. I use an ID card with HIS name and rank when I go grocery shopping. His name is on our cars and bank accounts. I am just a tag along. This was really hard for me to deal with, so I went out and got a government job that issued me my own ID card with MY social security number on it and my own rank: contractor. But it took significant effort on my part to be someone other than Peter's shadow.

The next question was "How did Peter ask that sacrifice of you?" The answer to that one is simple: he didn't. Just like Peter volunteered for the Navy, I volunteered to be a Navy spouse. I'm proud to be his wife. I'm proud to support him. Even when he's deployed and I'm stranded on an island using his social security number to schedule my medical care, I don't regret it. I never have. I LOVE him, and if I have to marry the Navy in order to be married to him, then so be it.


The last question was "Are you counting down until you see Peter again?" The answer to that one is also no. I'll see him in roughly a month, and then he's gone for a LONG time. Instead of counting down the days, hours, and minutes of this deployment, I think it's easier to count up. It boosts my morale to think of how many days I've conquered without him rather than to think of how many I have left to get through. I do count down to mini-goals, like when I'll hear from him again (hopefully by Friday, and if I'm lucky I'll have an email from him tomorrow), or how long until the SPED teacher gets here so I can teach normal-intelligence, mentally stable children again (hopefully four days). I try to find weekly things to look forward to, because I still have 10 months to go, and that's a long time to wait. But I've made it through nearly 100 days already.

I Love you Peter!

Roommates

We've all had to live with roommates. Some at college, some while we pretended to go to college, etc. We all know the sacrifices you have to make with a roommate. Shoved into an 8 x 12 foot room and sharing a bathroom, only a small space to keep ALL of your stuff. You're forced to keep everything shoved into that small space otherwise you'd never be able to walk down the two foot gap between your beds or find your bed.

There are of course certain things that you must do to keep the peace while living with a roommate. Keeping your things cleaned up, keeping the music down, not turning on the lights when you come in at four in the morning. You know, common sense things. I abide by these unspoken laws (right now, my room is actually pretty messy on account of me). However, I have not experienced any of the common courtesies displayed towards me. As I write this my eardrums are being blasted by about 100 decibels of horrible R&B music. The mess in our room? Half my fault right now and the other half is his. Usually, it's all his fault. The bathroom? Only gets cleaned by myself so, it hasn't in the last month (okay we weren't here but that's besides the point). My roommate came back here to the room several times while we were out for training and I know for a fact that he didn't clean anything because it was indeed messier than what I left it.

Sorry, this was a rant because I'm fed up. Some people are just so ignorant.

A hard act to follow

Wow, those are hard blogs to follow. Especially given what I did the last month... nothing. I guess I should start by congratulating my wife on her hard work and the spirit and drive that she's shown in the face of adversity (namely me being gone and her having to carry the groceries up the stairs). I can not express how proud I am of her that her teaching career is skyrocketing, she's making new friends (even ones who don't speak the same language as her) and she is starting ANOTHER career in writing/photojournalism. She is the shining star of the military wife and I feel she deserves some public recognition. I Love her so much.
Now for my exciting month. I can pretty much sum it up like this. We sat, sweat, ran, sweat, sweat, sweat, sat in humvess, sweat, sat some more, the AC in our tent broke (again and again), slept a little, sweat and sat. That was pretty much my month of August. Interrupted by a mortar shoot about halfway through and various vehicle chases at Ft. Irwin. My platoon also managed to get three role players fired and get three E-4/5s busted all the way down to E-1. It was a busy month of sitting. Of course the hardest thing about all of it was the lack of communication with my wife (who handled it quite gracefully I might add).


This is the military life. Welcome to it.




ILY OXXX